So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
