i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
