im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
