I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
