We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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