Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
