Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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