I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
