so explain again why im purple
no
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
