in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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