He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize