ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
