hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
