Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
