She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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