Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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