ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you remember whose house we're in?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
