where am i from again
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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