Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
