what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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