What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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