We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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