it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
