We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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