i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just forgot I was standing up.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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