We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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