I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
