my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
