After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
