just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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