I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
