This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
