omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
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