it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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