nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize