I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
