I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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