Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
