What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
