Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

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(530): View more from California

69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am too young to be this hungover

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?

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(416): View more from Toronto

But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures

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(716): View more from New York

I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.

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(587): View more from Alberta

I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.

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