I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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