I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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