I wish I could teleport
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize