we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
