New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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