If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
