i can't believe i had my finger in that
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize