im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
