I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
