I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
