I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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