carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize