Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
