You just made me feel so damn special
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
