u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
