he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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