ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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