D3 body, D1 cock
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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