i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
