spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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