Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
