Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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