Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
