my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can't put those talents on a resume
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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