No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
