one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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