You can't special order awesome
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
